By Evan Falchuk

Why  do people or organizations let you down?  It’s hard to generalize.  But most of the time I think it happens because most of  us are too busy thinking about ourselves to think about the impact our actions have on others.

Cary Tennis, writing in Salon a few years ago describes it well:

Aw, shit. People fail you, they do, they let you down when you need them, they get suddenly dense when you need them to be smart, they fold when you need them to open up, they close right before you get there and sleep through your honking horn in the snow. “I know she’s in there, where else could she be? Why doesn’t she come to the door?” People fail you, they do, they let you down when you need them. They don’t say they’re sorry because they don’t even know. That’s how dense they are.

I guess it’s easy to criticize people who fail you when you need them.   But you know what?  They deserve it.  You’re trying to figure out how to take care of a sick parent or child or loved one and you naturally turn to friends or family or institutions and expect them to help you find the way.  Instead, it’s, gosh that sounds terrible, but you know I’m a little distracted here, too, can I get back to you?  The people who are there when everything is fine, but run for cover as soon as trouble arrives.

Still, not everyone is like that.

I’ve seen people spend hours at the hospital trying to help struggling friends cope with a crisis.  I’ve known people who have taken in troubled children and raised them as their own.  I’ve seen communities rally around families as they try to make it through tragedy.  And I’ve known acquaintances who became close friends because they reached out their hand to help.

I suppose there is something in human nature that compels people to help others.  But we fail at it too often for it to be that simple.  I think in most cases it’s a choice – someone you know is in trouble, what do you do?  There are no easy answers, and not every situation is the same, but still, you have to choose.  How you choose over the course of your life defines the kind of person you are, whether or not you are, Lt. Col. Frank Slade would say, a person of character.

Now I have come to the cross-roads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew, but I never took it. You know why? It was too damn hard. Now here’s Charlie. He’s come to the cross-roads. He has chosen a path. It’s the right path. It’s a path made of principle that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey.

We all face these cross-roads, and must make choices.   Try to do what’s hard.